He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
