"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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