Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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