She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
