Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
