Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
