You work out of a Hotel?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
