I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
