I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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