barbara walters just said penis...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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