So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize