I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
