I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
