im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So squirting runs in the family.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
