her vagine was all disorganized.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
