you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
