when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We have so much sex to catch up on
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
