Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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