Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
