alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
