How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize