Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
