I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
