i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize