she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
