i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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