So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
