Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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