Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently you make a good broom.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
