We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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