he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
