I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
