I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
