the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
