I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
