I bet he comes in French.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
