She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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