my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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