lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
