I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
