I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
