Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
