So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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