I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
