I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
