We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
