so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
These tits shall not be calmed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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