Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
