they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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