those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
