worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize