The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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