i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
