**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
