I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
