margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there was a trapeze. enough said
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
