she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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