theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
