I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Your penis caused this!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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