you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm both gender and math confused
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
